


Can't remember the last time (that I saw you happy)

by uswnt_nwsoccer



Series: Don't care if we fall from grace. [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 12:06:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uswnt_nwsoccer/pseuds/uswnt_nwsoccer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashlyn is selfish. And so is Ali</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't remember the last time (that I saw you happy)

**Author's Note:**

> Suffering from writers block, therefore beneath the waves hiatus. :)

Letting Ali go was one of the toughest things she had ever done. She knew Ali was her better half, the reason of her being; that’s why when the NWSL came around and Ali decided she wanted to go back home Ashlyn had followed her without hesitation. A life with no Ali wasn’t life. 

Being able to have Ali for herself was more than enough, until it wasn’t. Of course she had expected different results from the league, but not everything has to go her way all the time. She was happy with her, but if she wanted a real shot with the National team she knew she needed more than last place in the league and the sorry excuse that the head coach had been a dickhead; which was true but pity wouldn’t help her get to the big leagues. 

Every night after a game was the same. They would wordlessly drive to their apartment and as soon as the door closed, clothes would be thrown all over the place; limps intertwined and a gasped name thrown into the darkness and with it all of their frustrations. The morning after back on the field working their asses off until exhaustion to end up getting the same result.

When she received Tyresö’s offer she had accepted right away, thinking that now that Ali had no commitments with Frankfurt they wouldn’t have to separate. At least that’s what she thought until she had given the news to Ali and her response had been “I don’t want to be away from home anymore”.

Ashlyn considered breaking the contract, she would do anything to be with Ali; she would give her life Ali asked her to. Thankfully she never had. 

When the season approached its end, Ashlyn was -for the firt time, selfish. She confirmed her contract with Tyresö and before the last game, all her things were packed and shipped to Stockholm. 

Ashlyn tried avoiding Ali as much as she could, she knew one look into the eyes of the defender and Sweden will be forgotten. Ashlyn scolded herself for being so weak when she was with Ali. Sitting here in the middle of the almost empty apartment she couldn't help but wonder why couldn't she be selfish for once. But then again the first time she had been selfish she had gotten Ali. And right now that same feeling was going to throw them apart. 

Thinking back, maybe as much as she wanted to hold onto Ali; this relationship was never supossed to work. 

Their last game came and surprisingly it wasn't the same result as usual, obviously the aftergame ritual wasn't either, not only because they, for once managed a different result; but because Ashlyn had to take a plane early in the morning and Ali hadn't volunteered to drive her to the airport so she had to opt for other options which meant she had to wake up before the sun even rose over the DC buildings.

Ali laid quietly on the bed while Ashlyn shoved the last of her belongings into a suitcase which looked like would burst open at any moment. Ashlyn threw her luggage on the floor and looked over at Ali fidgeting with her hands. She knew they had to talk sometime before she had to leave in the morning and right noe was a good time as ever. 

"Are you sure you'll be okay by youself here?"

Ali looked up from her lap and smiled at her, of course Ashlyn would be worried about her even though she was the one leaving for another country, with a language she wasn't familiar with. "Yeah I leave to LA in a couple days, Kyle has been dying to see me, then I'm spending time with my mom"

"Say hi to Debbie for me, and tell Kyle that I'll miss him, I didn't have time to call him"

Ali waited, for what? She didn't know. Maybe the little lining of hope that Ashlyn would say fuck it and stay with her. But nothing came and Ali wished she could be selfish again and ask Ash to stay. Because she knew if she ask Ashlyn would, but she couldn't ask, not when Ashlyn was trying to follow her dreams. 

They fell asleep with no more words, and sometime before Ashlyn's alarm went off Ali climbed on top of Ashlyn and proclaimed her attention one last time before an ocean made itself noted between them again. Ashlyn held her close as a wave rippled through Ali's body, the alarm rang before Ali had time to recover and before she knew it all she was left with was an empty apartment and the echo of her voice whispering "don't go" but Ashlyn was long gone.


End file.
